Listen.

protective order

TheWho: Brian Hyun Kim & Kimberly-Ann Maniego
TheWhat: Case Number 08HM04833 [go to OC courts and look up the case number]
TheWhy: I don’t expect you to understand or to know because you weren’t there—no one was there except us two. But, what I do expect from you is to LISTEN. When you ask me for my side of the story, for the truth, don’t come with preconceived notions of the situation, otherwise DON’T ask me in the first place. If you want to know the truth, feel free to read this blog. I will not hold back any information. I’m not one to cry out for attention, there’s no point in me lying about anything having to do with situation. I just want my voice to be heard, so please... Listen.

The reasons why I don’t openly discuss this to anyone are:

1) frankly, it’s not anyone’s business to know [people will always talk shit, but what’s the point if no one has any solutions? if that’s the case, why say anything in the first place, if you’re not even going to help? if you think “helping” is knowing the truth, how would u find it? people choose to believe whatever they want, in a subject as sensitive as this one, the only two people who know the truth are the two parties involved, everyone else has nothing to do with it.]

2) it was a domestic violence case that is still a very sensitive subject for me to talk about [I hit rock bottom after this incident. I felt so confused, alone, and stuck that yeah, I became depressed, angry, suicidal, and tried to kill myself a couple times, but who wouldn’t? I don’t blame you for judging me, but don’t be ignorant, what would you have done in my situation? I don’t expect you to know or understand how I felt because you weren’t there and it didn’t happen to you, so rather than talking and judging, just do us both a favor and LEAVE IT ALONE.]

TheMessage: The reasons why I’m choosing to openly discuss this now are:

favorite post from post-secret

1) BK is telling everyone “his side of the story,” I only tell mine to those that ask. He’s been constantly telling members of CG at chillbacks and parties that it’s my fault for everything. Blaming me for his faults of why he’s an alcoholic, why he doesn’t go to school, why he doesn’t live at home, etc etc. I'm not going to say this again, IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT. Honestly, MAN UP, swallow your damn pride, and admit your OWN faults. Stop blaming ME for your life’s failures. They have nothing to do with me. It’s been a year since I’ve been out of your life, if you’re still blaming me for the shit that went wrong, then maybe it’s because it’s not my fault. I wasn’t there to fuck your life up, I even took a break from CG to handle my shit, so fucking get over yourself. In a year you could've turned your life around, instead you still use me as your excuse. STOP IT.

2) I’m not one to go around and tell people what happened. Sure there are people I’ve told, they were close friends, family members, or even people I’ve met in which we’ve shared a common life-story. But rather than me repeating the same hurtful story over and over, I’ll blog about it. If you want to know “my side of the story” or have any questions they’ll be answered in my blogg for you to read. Frankly, I don’t understand why other people should be involved. Of course I don’t want it to affect Common Ground [teammates feel awkward around us two, they feel the negative tension, etc.]. But I tried to be civil. After the incident, there was a protective order created that prevents him from approaching me, often within a specified distance [must not harass, strike, threaten, assault (sexually or otherwise), follow, stalk, molest, destroy or damage personal or real property, disturb the peace, keep under surveillance, or block movements of me. must have no personal, electronic, telephonic, or written contact with me. must have no contact with me through a third party, except an attorney of record. and must not come 300 yards from me.]. Throughout the year, because I was director I tried to keep it drama free [like basketball, I left all the drama off the court]. I was civil towards him during practice and even took a break from CG when I felt that I couldn’t handle being on the same team as him. I wanted to come back from my break knowing that he didn’t phase me anymore and that I was strong enough to continue my daily routine without being affected by him.] I made so many compromises to make things work, I avoided going to a lot of Common Ground chill backs and parties because 1) I didn’t want to be around him when he was drunk because I was traumatized from that night and 2) I didn’t want there to be any possible drama. But I realized, it shouldn’t be that way. Why should I be compromising so that he could do everything he wants? The protective order isn’t against me to him, it’s HIM to ME. I should be allowed to do whatever I want and he should keep the distance from me. There were so many incidences in which I could have called the police, but I didn’t. So DON’T TELL ME I’m the one starting drama, I tried to keep the peace, the line was crossed a long time ago and I’m not taking it anymore.

3) On Sunday, June 28, 2009 I was told that there would be a directors meeting at Big B’s house at 11pm. The founders [kirk, b, tommy], dan, and bk&jeanelle were present. At first they questioned us both about our standpoint on captain & artistic director, afterwards they “called” the meeting because BK brought it to their attention that he sees it [me & him] as a “problem” and wants to “squash” things. They felt that it was a mature thing for him to do, because it does affect the team, people do feel awkward around us, they can sense the tension between us, etc. But, personally, I felt like I was being ganged up on. If went to the meeting thinking it would be a directors meeting talking about the team. I’m all for addressing issues and fixing things, but I was taken aback on how everyone there knew what was going on except for me. They wanted us to start “talking thing out,” to find out the “truth,” so we started arguing. I don’t understand how they expected things to end, he’s entitled to say what he wants about what happen and so am I. I’m not going to say that I’m lying, because I’m not. I will tell you everything I wanted to say that night in this blog.

Why I didn’t say it then?
1) I was phased by the fact that BK said, “your family hates you.” I didn’t know that the meeting would turn into a shit talk fest. I thought we wanted to squash things, not create more drama. He said that CG talks shit behind my back and that the people that I think are really my friends don’t like me. For being on CG for 3 years, 2 of which I was a director, that was a low blow and a shot to the heart. I loved my “family” unconditionally and to hear that, whether it may stem from some sort of truth or falsehood was nonetheless devastating. Of course I lost my composure after that, but how was I supposed to recover from such a low blow and talk about a situation so sensitive?

2) I had so much to say but was overwhelmed by my emotions that I felt it wouldn’t do any justice to talk it out right there. I was angry, depressed, and overwhelmed and I wanted to say what I had to say when I was collected and composed, not because I was broken down and hurt. I didn't think it was appropriate that I was put on the spot like that. If I had known those were the original intentions beforehand, I would've come with moral support, not so that I can gather my arguments. I'm not hiding anything and am telling the truth, yeah the truth should be easy to say, but it's not. I don't like thinking about it, I don't like talking about it, I don't like admitting that I fell in love with someone who used to abuse me and that I still loved him and blamed myself for what happened.

3) I felt like what I had to say didn’t matter. I appreciate the fact that they care and want drama to cease, but everyone at that meeting knew what was going on except me. I felt if I told my side of the story, they wouldn’t believe me anyways. So what’s the point? I left feeling like the situation got worse, not better. Let’s say you believe my side of the story or his side of the story, then what? How would it help “squash things?” There's still a protective order that states that he can't be anywhere remotely near me, nor at UCI. So If I'm on campus, I could legally call the police. Anyways, I know it would help everyone understand the severity of the situation or understand what “really” happened, but other than that, it’s one of those things that if you really want things to get squashed let’s let LAW take over and do JUSTICE. If he wanted to talk to me, he was supposed to get an attorney. If he wants to “squash” and fix the situation, I can see him in court. Until then, I don’t feel like I have any explaining, convincing, or story-telling to do to anyone.

Hopefully you find the “truth” that you’re looking for and I answer the “questions” you were asking me.

June 17, 2008 Wednesday. Vista Del Campo 61611-1. Early Am. Case Summary.
I will never forget this day. That day, I experienced domestic violence and abuse from someone I “loved.” It started off as a good day with BK [now my ex-boyfriend], we ate sushi at maki maki, watched “hulk,” and hung out at the MCIA house [the yacht with k-duh, jtong, etc] where I did my astronomy/geology labs [I took 24 units that summer because I wanted to graduate my 3rd year] as he smoked hookah and drank in the garage with the boys. I took him home as usual (being the sober designated driver), I had to deal with his usual drunk antics (being aggressive and violent/angry). He always asked me to pull over because someone was looking at him the wrong way, wanted to fight someone for the hell of it, or just wanted to start something. We got to my apartment at VDC [I lived in a triple but none of my roomies were home that night] and I helped him into the apartment. I helped him onto the bed where he laid in the middle of it--not moving over to leave room for me to sleep. I told him to move over, he answered “Shut Up.” I understand when people are drunk they tend to either be overly emotional, angry, or happy, but I don’t think it’s an excuse for treating anyone a certain way. I allowed him to chill with his boys and took care of him. I don’t like being talked to like that and couldn't tolerate it anymore, so I responded “What did you say?” He looked angrily at me and said, “Shut Up!” I told him to “get out.” I wasn’t going to put up with this bullshit anymore, I didn’t deserve to be talked to or treated that way. He responded “fine,” but didn’t move. I told him, “what are you waiting for? get out!” and so he got up, drunkenly picked up his dress shirt which he broke off when trying to take off his shirt to sleep, and as he reached the door instead of opening it, he locked it, looked at me angrily with his head cocked down to show his angered brows and said, “Fuck You Bitch.” I told him to “get the FUCK out of my apartment.” He replied “or what?” and I said, “fine, you can have my fucking apartment, but I’m leaving.” I just didn’t want to fucking be there anymore. To be in love with someone and to have them treat you that way is heart-breaking. To see the person you love turn into someone else when they are drunk is horrifying. To see the person you love look at you with eyes of hatred, I just didn’t want to be there anymore. If he wasn’t going to leave, I was going to. So I headed towards the door when he grabbed my arm and I said “let go of me.” He said “or what?” and I yelled louder, “LET GO OF ME.” He pushed me against the bed. I’m from Long Beach and my dad always taught me that fighting is wrong, but if you feel your life is in danger or someone hits/touches you first it’s fair game. So I grabbed his shoulders and tried to push him away from the door to unlock it and run outside far away from this mess. But as I reached the door, he grabbed me and threw me forcefully on the bed, where he pinned me down as I tried to kick him off. I started screaming, hoping my RA or anyone would hear me. He covered my mouth with one hand almost suffocating me that I stopped screaming hoping he stopped. He said, “I’ll fucking kill you,” and kept me pinned to my bed. The more I struggled to fight him, the more I got hurt [if I got my leg loose to kick him, he’d slap me or hit me]. I finally managed to kick him in the nuts and ran for the door. He grabbed my hair and threw me against the opposing wall. I was so angry and my adrenaline was pumping so hard by then that I started to fight him. I pushed him all the way out of my apartment. As he was outside, he yelled for me to “Open the fucking door.” I yelled, “No, leave.” He said, “or what?” and I said, “or I’ll call the fucking cops.” and he responded, “You call the fucking cops? the cops. WOW. I might as well be dead then.” he started to walk away from my apartment and yelled that he wants his shit. I grabbed whatever shit I could find of my room that was his [his duffel bag, some shoes, shirts, etc] and put it outside my front door. I sat in my room crying and I started to notice the bruises forming on my wrists, how my head hurt from my hair being pulled, how my back hurt from being slammed against the wall, and I felt fearful for my life. I started to write an e-mail to CG about how scared and sad I was. I kept crying in shock of what happened and called the only people I could think of calling, my family, so I called Dan, Q boi and Big B, they didn’t answer because it was early in the morning. I had my cell-phone in my hand hoping any of my founders/directors would respond to me. Fearful, I called UCI PD. In the meantime, I decided to write an e-mail to my team, it explains briefly what had happened:

[actual e-mail sent to CG on June 17, 2009 at 6:41am]

Hey Cg Fam Bam. It's a major emergency. I need your help. Yesterday, Bk and I went to an MCIA Party. I told BK no more getting drunk because I hate dealing with his shit and he doesn't treat me that great when he's drunk. He promised not to get that drunk again. He broke it and got really drunk to the point where he threw up everywhere n i had to take him home. At my apartment he treated me like shit and threw me around. So I told him to get out of my apartment because I was scared. I called the cops because he threatened to hurt me (i don't know if he was still drunk but still u know wtf am i spose to do?) So he went outside, took his shit that I put outside (some clothes, shoes, etc) n left. He was yelling "fuck you" n all this shit to me as he left. After a while of crying in my room, I got my keys n tried to look for him but couldn't find him. I need to knwo where he is, I want to talk to him, want to get him to understand that I LOVE HIM, I just don't think it's right how he treats me when he's drunk. If you know where he is, if you see him, if you talk to him, let me know. The police aren't looking for him (they never came and prolly didn't even hear me when I was talking), but I still need u to tell me where he is, if hes ok. I didn't mean to kick him out, I didn't want him to leave, i just wanted him to stop being so aggressive, so drunk, so scary. I just want him to understand that.... he threatened to kill himself and me. i need help. i need you guys to help me. please. call me please. ~kimmiko p.s. don't spread the word. cg only. i jz need someone to talk to. im sure maybe im praying to god that things will work out and get better. but i don't know it doesn't look to well right now. my guess is hes hitchhiking or on the road to somewhere. i jz wanna know if he's ok. god... i don't know what to do anymore.... im so depressed. if he hurts himself, i'll feel so bad. But if he hurts me, i won't feel as bad. please... please help.

[I wasn’t going to explain in detail to my team what was going on, but I felt threatened and as crazy as the situation was, I was in love with him and love is blind so I wanted to know that he was going to alright and not kill himself.]

After an hour, he returned to my apartment and said “you killed me.” He ran to the third floor of the 616 building and started to hit his head against the wall. I opened the door to tell him to stop and see him run down the flights of stared, fearful I shut it again. He banged on my door and I refused to let him in. I told him “I called the police, you should leave” he ran up to the third floor again and tried to jump off the ledge of the 3rd floor balcony while saying “I might as well be dead. I have no fucking family. My mom hates me. My brothers don’t respect me. I have no fucking home. And you called the cops on me. Fuck the police. Fuck em.” I opened the door again and said, “please stop it. don’t kill yourself please. you fucking promised me you wouldn’t get drunk anymore and you broke your promise. you need to leave” he came down and I locked myself in my room this time. he talked to me through my window and said to “open the fucking door.” I told him “come back when you’re sober or I’ll call the cops.” he said “call the fucking cops then, I don’t give a fuck. I’m as good as dead. I just want my stuff.” I told him, “Your stuff is outside and I’m not letting you in to get your stuff, come back when you’re sober.” He yelled, “I want my stuff.” I kept refusing. He started banging on my window, yelling “bitch give me my shit!” I was fearful that he’d break my window and come inside and beat my ass, so I started screaming. He yelled for me to “shut up” and started to punch my window, but it traumatized me even more. He punched and yelled for me to shut up. He took the screen on my windows and thrashed til they broke. I was kneeling on the floor, rocking to calm myself, screaming and crying. I heard another voice outside yell, “sir step away from the apartment.” I could see BK’s eyes full of hate look at me in disbelief that I actually called the cops, I wanted to say that I was sorry, partially I was but I couldn’t. He put his hands up to surrender and they took him into custody. They walked him over to the grill area to question him, then 3 officers questioned me. I told them this exact story. They issued me a restraining order to be effective immediately and checked my health/vital signs. They said they’ll escort me to the hospital once everything is situated.

Dan came first, when I saw him I hugged him and was so glad he was there. He asked me what happened and I told him that there’s so much going on in my head. long story short, last night, after hanging out with mcia, BK got drunk, i took him home like usual, n had to deal with his usual drunk antics (being aggressive, angry, abusive). This time it went too far, I couldn't take it anymore. I always told him, I don't mind if he drinks, but he needs to watch his limit, when he's drunk he's uncontrollable and doesn't remember half the shit he does. I told him if he ever gets drunk to the point where he hits me or disrespects me or anything again, I'm leaving and he can jz get out.... Basically, he threatened to kill himself and me, (almost did), n broke my windows. He got arrested and is now in jail for 4 accounts: domestic violence, vandalism, destruction of property, and forceful detainment/unwilling detainment of a civilian.

I left out the parts of him hitting me, why?
1) the officers told me not to talk about it to anyone other than my attorney [until the case is settled]
2) I loved BK at the moment. It was hard for me to believe that he did that to me, but I couldn’t tell anyone he hit me.

Q & Jenny came next and we [me, dan, q, jenny] sat in my living room [them asking me questions, me crying and trying to calm down, still traumatized, depressed, and in shock] all while the police took pictures of my room, the broken windows, and asked me more questions. I was worried not only for myself, but also for bk, if I had to pay for the damages, that my parents will find out, what CG will think, etc. so much shit was going on in my head. I asked the officer if BK was okay, he said “the guy is so intoxicated he asked us to get him food,” and started to laugh. They gave me personal information for counseling services that I can go to, filed a report through UCI, told VDC the damages weren’t my fault, recommended ways in which I should legally approach this situation, got all my information, and filed the case in the UCI system. After all the madness, Jenny, Q, and Dan left me after I told them I’d just fall asleep. Instead of sleeping, I wrote CG another e-mail informing them that BK got arrested:

[actual 2nd email to CG: mind you my emotions were everywhere and yes I WAS a mess, but who wouldn’t be?] 9:41am

hi cg fam bam, sorry for the emergency updates. i'm just going to fill the family in. i'm not ok. mentally, physically, emotionally. last night, after hanging out with mcia (long story short), BK got drunk, i took him home like usual, n had to deal with his usual drunk antics (being aggressive, angry, abusive). This time it went too far, I couldn't take it anymore. I always told him, I don't mind if he drinks, but he needs to watch his limit, when he's drunk he's uncontrollable and doesn't remember half the shit he does. I told him if he ever gets drunk to the point where he hits me or disrespects me or anything again, I'm leaving and he can jz get out.... Basically, he threatened to kill himself and me, (almost did), n broke my windows. He got arrested and is now in jail for 4 accounts: domestic violence, vandalism, destruction of property, and forceful detainment/unwilling detainment of a civilian. If you want to know the full story you can call me. Don't spread the word to people, this is your family member, not some gossip you can tell people. I'm not ok and I'm sure when he sobers up he won't be ok. The police put me and him on a restraining order, where he can't talk/see/be near me at all for a whole week. Despite what happened tonight, I still care/love him. If you get a hold of him. Be a family member. Don't lecture him too much. Make sure he's ok. Help him. I don't know if he'll be mad at me for calling the cops on him (but if you were there, you would understand thats the only choice I had). I hope he doesn't hate me, and hopefully one day he'll come around to talk to me. Until then, if you get a hold of him (let me know). I would like to know how he's doing, seeing I can't be anywhere near him. He has a serious alcoholic problem. He needs help. I've been trying. I got him to stop smoking and drinking for 8 months straight. He recently started up again, and it doesn't help when people keep giving him alcohal with out cutting him off or giving him cigz. Please, he needs help. Serious help, like the police were saying even if he gets bail he prolly needs to sign up for aa classes and be on probation forever n shit. So please, don't tempt him, don't tease him, help him. If you do get a hold of him, let him know that I'm not mad at him, I love him when hes sober, I hate who he is when he's drunk. He needs to get help, and we will be there for him every step of the way. Also, if you get a chance, give me a call or drop by my pad in irvine. I'm pretty fucked up (mentally, physically, etc), I don't wanna be by myself and I don't care if you wanna kick it or sleep over. Just dont' bring any alcohal or cigz or i will beat the shit outta you. but that's basically the update. ~kimmiko p.s. pray for me and him p.s.s. if i don't pick up my phone calls, i'm sorry. jz come over. i've been crying, haven't slept, and can't function properly. p.s.s.s sorry for the people i tried callign early in the morning, i didn't knwo what to do and i was scared shitless, but everythings "better" now, i appreciate you checking up on me, i need it.

After writing this e-mail, I got a knock on my door from VDC management, a lady came to pay me a visit to ask me what happened, to let me know that the damages are taken care of, that they have free counseling offered at UCI and that if I need anything to let her or UCI know. She then called the ER and they rushed me to UCI Medical Center to check me for internal bleeding.
Over the next couple weeks, I received word of the legal case against BK. He ended up in jail for 8 days, on 4 accounts: domestic violence, vandalism, destruction of property, and forceful detainment/unwilling detainment of a civilian [2 of which he was charged and pleaded guilty to: Battery against cohabitant and Vandalism-less than $400 in damages], they turned the temporary restraining order into a permanent protective order. He was sentenced to 3 years of probation, restitution, 8 hours of community service, 10 hours of cal trans, 1 years License Suspension, Alcoholics Anonymous Classes as well as Anger Management Classes, and to abide by the protective order. In the meantime, yeah I did go a little crazy, everything reminded me of him and it hurt. I felt like I was stuck, my friends [CG] tried to help me, but at the end of the day, I felt alone. I was so traumatized in my room, I stared at the window still hearing the screams and the glass breaking. I didn’t want to hurt anymore, so yeah I did try and kill myself. But that’s a story for another day. I’m just going to tell the truth about this situation, if you want to hear more about the day I overdosed and ended up in the hospital/psych ward, I will blog about it later or you can ask me, but I’ll finish this story.

2009. Over the past year, I tried to be civil w/ BK. what changed? Nothing, I tried to let it go. I’m not rich and privileged enough to move to another state or country and start my life there. I worked too damn hard at UCI to throw it away. So I stayed, I knew I wasn’t completely healed, taking Psych 129: Psych of Violence, you learn that victims of domestic violence are scarred for life and will never completely be “okay.” Fuck, if I had it my way, I’d take a long vacation and build my life elsewhere, anything to stop hurting. But I couldn’t run from it, so I tried to deal. I tried to maintain my professionalism as a dancer/director on CG and not be biased towards him, I never called the cops ONCE. I avoided chillbacks and parties that he’d probably be present to because I couldn’t stand being around him when he was drunk and didn’t want drama. But I shouldn’t have to run anymore.

June 4, 2009 DNBz Irvine Spectrum Kristyn’s Birthday
It was pretty chill day we went to watch UP at Irvine Spectrum, and dropped by DNBz for Kristyn’s Birthday. When I got there, I found Kristyn, wished her Happy Birthday, tried to buy her a drink but she was already dunzos, and took pictures with her. I said hi to a bunch of DC, CG, and KM people. When I saw BK drunk with Jeanelle, I just had to leave. DNBz was closing so people were walking out, I found Sam and we said hello and bye to a lot of people. BK approached us and tried to give me a hug which I didn’t accept and just stood lifeless, he approached Sam and tried to shake his hand in which Sam replied, “naw man.” BK drunkenly and angerly asked, “So you’re not going to shake my fucking hand? Are you serious?” I could tell he was offended by the gesture and manner especially since it was in front of CG [carl, etc]. Sam replied, “naw, later.” We started to walk away, and BK yelled “are you fucking serious?” BK and his friend walked after us yelling, “SAM! SAM! Come back here you little bitch.” I kept telling Sam to keep walking, that it wasn't worth it (he has school @ UCI, a dance team that needs him, and a summer internship to look forward to), that there are hella police and security around (before anything went down they'd both be arrested), he said “He just called me a little bitch,” we tried to get to the car in the parking structure to leave, but BK cut us off confronting Sam. Asking him why he won’t shake his hand, he has no drama with me so why all a sudden hes not cool with him, etc etc. Sam answered, “so what are you gonna do about it,” I could tell they were both angry because clenched fists and hatred looks were being exchanged. A police car rolls up onto the curb next to where we were so I decided to get in the middle to create some room between the two and looked at Sam and said “LETS GO.” Don't even get me started, but there's so much shit wrong with this situation. 1) he’s not suppose to be anywhere near me. hes not supposed to harass, stalk, follow, or threaten me. No 3rd party contact, I could’ve so easily called the police because he’s been constantly violating the protective order. 2) I’m sorry if you expected more from my boyfriend. I never told Sam to dislike you or disrespect you. What he did was out of his own will. You can think what you want and think that I influenced his thinking, but I’m not like that. I never force people to do something they don’t want to do, I specifically told him he doesn’t have to hate him or have anything against him. But, I understand why Sam didn’t shake his hand. He loves me and hearing my side of the story has lost respect for BK and didn’t want to shake his hand. But, If you want to know more about it, rather than talking shit ASK SAM your DAMN self.

June 13, 2009 Abe’s Party in Rancho Penasquitos SD [220, CG, DC]
It was a good day at Body Rock in SD. Afterward, me and Sam ate at Dennys and dropped by the party to show face because both of our teams were there. I personally didn’t want to go because I knew BK was going to be there. We get there and say "haro" to everyone and step out to the backyard for a stogg break with Faigao. Chris Bitun steps outside to tell me that he “doesn’t want any drama,” that “BK is drunk and wants to fight Sam,” that “they’ll do their best to control him and calm him down,” but he just wanted me to know. I told him, I appreciate that, but that’s why I didn’t want to come. I didn’t want to be a KJ for anyone. I don’t want to crash 220’s party. I don’t want any drama, but I wanted to show face. If I did go, I wanted to have fun and enjoy everyone’s company without it being all fucking dramatic like that, so I told him we were leaving. He told me not to leave, to stay, but I insisted and changed my argument to say that we were really tired. We went inside to say Bye to everyone and Sam told me he was going to say bye to Raffy so I waited outside with Ivan and Chris. As I saw Sam walk out the door, BK followed quickly behind him. I already knew this wasn’t going to end well. I held Sam’s hand and we walked down the hill towards his car. Up the hill, I could hear footsteps following us and looked back to see BK following us down the hill and Ivan and Chris behind him trying to calm him down and stop him. They got closer and I could hear him cussing. We get in the car and as we drive away Chris motions his hand to keep driving, but BK stands in the middle of the street to block us, as we drive around him he socks Sam’s car window. We kept driving despite how angered and insulted we both were. There was so much shit wrong with this situation as well. 1) again he violated so many parts of the protective order 2) BK u need to effing check your damn self. We didn't come to the party to fight your ass, we tried to come to show face and say wassup to 220, CG, and DC so calm the fuck down. But on that same note, who’s the one trying to start drama here? Me & Sam or BK? How does he expect to squash things approaching it in that kind of manner? How does he expect to address things intoxicated? Be a MAN, come sober, and talk it out. Otherwise, that honestly seems like you just wanted a FIGHT. It was POINTLESS.

Over the past couple days, talk about the incidences were going around CG. Some of which he told his side and I told mine. Sam even called Jeanelle seeing if they could talk about it and squash the drama, but BK never called back. At least he tried to be the bigger man, he walked away from your drunken confrontations because there was no solution there just a bigger problem, tried to address the situation in a professional calm manner, and you failed to make things better. So stop telling people that WE'RE starting drama, Stop telling people there’s drama between CG & DC. If you want to know what’s going on, ask SAM. I’m sure he’d be more than willing to tell you. Don’t blame me for any of this because their actions have nothing to do with me. Of course the situation initially started with what happened last summer, but the actions they chose to display at those moments weren’t of any of my control.

ALL in ALL. the abuse I experienced was physical before, but now I feel it to be more psychological. Over the past year, you’ve been trying to taint my name to anyone and everyone. Telling people “your side of the story” without them having anything to do with it. So many people have asked me for my side because “they heard” from you or “heard stuff.” I’m not going to stand for your slander. I’m blogging because I want my voice to be heard. If you feel it bothers you that much and you REALLY want to “squash shit,” let’s fucking do this, get your attorney and I’ll see you in court [due to the protective order you’re not even suppose to contact me through 3rd party. The only way you would be able to contact me is through your attorney]. I’m tired of seeing my friends and family slowly turn against me and begin to judge me based on this drama. I haven’t done anything to make this worse, I tried so hard to be civil, to compromise, and to prevent it. I don’t want to lose any more friends or family members due to this bullshit. IF you really want to help, do me a favor and stay out of it, please. It doesn’t involve you and you getting involved won’t help change/fix anything. If you really want to make things work, it can be arranged legally in court like it’s supposed to. I hope that this blog does justice to the events that I witnessed last summer and the past couple weeks. If you choose to believe it or not it’s your choice. I’m not trying to influence anyone’s way of thinking. I’m merely telling the TRUTH and MY side of the story. I hope you LISTENED.

Sorry for the intense long blogg, I couldn’t keep in inside anymore.

I appreciate you for reading it all the way through though.
Hope you are all having better days.
<3 kimmiko